Is it too much to ask for some food? I hate my diet. I need not be trim for the ladies. There are none. That, and my manhood was taken from me years ago. I am a city cat and I live in a 1500 square foot house. I stare out at the world with all its birds and bibbets I wish I was eating. This is it. It's absurd really.Tuesday, female-human (FH) stripped me of my dignity again when she tied a giant bow around my stomach. I am neither a girl nor a present. Foolish woman. The one that looks, smells, and sounds like her sang me dumb songs about beans in her ears. Why must they insist on humiliating me. I have nowhere to go, the jerks.
6 comments:
Stay away from my territory cat. I'll take you out. I own the skies.
I respect your desire for a snack. I, too, want a snack.
I tried to just move in with my boyfriend but the stupid humans brought in a moronic cat that thinks she's a dog and has a boys name, an obnoxious small white terror that won't stop touching my stuff and some shrill new dog that convinces the cat to do evil things while they stay inside all day and I am stuck on the porch listening to the incessant cries for freedom from the white terror. I would trade you places any day of the week.
-Murphy P. Bell, Esq.
PS, I am a lawyer so if you ever need to sue your humans for neglect give me a call. I'm on the barking chain.
I'll see you on the back porch. This is war nemesis!
at least you have the house to yourself. i have to share my house a.k.a. "room" w/ three horrible dogs...one of whom is the biggest b---- i have ever met and i don't mean b----- as in a female dog..
-sophie b. dogg
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